The answer to these questions is different for every person.
Deciding what you feel comfortable doing or “how far” you want to go is a personal choice that you have to make each and every time you become physically or emotionally involved with another person. Having a physical desire to enjoy sexual pleasure is not the same thing as being emotionally prepared for sex with another person.
Head, Heart, Body
A handy tool to help you with healthy sexual decision making! Basically, it means checking in with your thoughts, your feelings and your physical body.
To make a well considered decision about sexual activity, all three aspects need to be checked each time someone makes a decision to have sex:
Head – Ask yourself:
Why am I doing this?
Do I agree with what is going on?
Does this fit with my values?
How will I feel about this decision tomorrow?
Heart – Ask yourself:
Do I feel safe and comfortable with this person?
Does this feel right to me?
Do I like this person?
Can I trust them?
Body – Ask yourself:
What does my body want to do?
Are the juices flowing?
Do I like what’s happening?
Am I, and is my partner protected from STIs or pregnancy?
Watch our SexPerts walk us through their funny demonstration of "Head, Heart, Body" in this podcast:
It’s important to know you have the right to change your mind and stop a sexual activity at any point while its happening, and it is your partner’s responsibility to respect that.
Likewise, it is also your responsibility to check in with your partner and to respect their feelings about a situation if they want to stop, slow down or take a break to sort out their thoughts.
For more helpful tips, check our website at: http://www.calgarysexualhealth.ca/am_i_ready_for_sex.html